'MY HUSBAND LEFT ME AFTER 30YRS.OF MARRAGE'

RED TOP (205.188.116.138) -

My husband left me after 30yrs. of marrage.First of all let me explain some of the reasons, & some of the episoids that took place.We got married in 1972, in which I was 3 months pregnet and only 19 yrs old.I went from my parents house right into the arms of a loving husband, who was thriled of my pregnency.It was hard on both of us being soo young, he was 23 at the time, & he had to work 2 jobs to support the 3 of us.We lived in an appt.& my parents helped out all the time.Hes parents didnt approve of us getting married & resented me from the very beginning.He came from a large family of 6 children, and I was an only child.My mother was dyeing of cancer at an earley age of 45, and my son then was 2yrs old.My father could not handle my mothers illness, & she asked if she could die in our home.It was hard on us for we had just bought a townhouse and I was not working.But my husband did not mind and we took my mother in and took care of her till she died.My inlaws were very upset, & didnt offer to watch our son for me to visit my mother at her last hours & created a hardship between my husband and his parents.He would not talk to them for a while and I tried and put back the family atmosphere & got him back on track with his own parents.Life was fine for awhile after my mothers death, but had to make sure that her mother, which was my gradmother was looked after, since that used to be my mothers job, that my husband and I took responsability for at that point in time.My husband worked all the time & never really minded it.We both loved each other & our son brought great joy in our lives.We even included my father into our family, after all the stuff he put my mother threw, but my grandmother never forgave him for.So my husband and I tryed very hard to make the best of it.In 1984 we finnally bought our dream house.We really couldnt afford it but we went for it anyway.Life was good & my grandmother gave me her house for us to use as a rental property & she moved into a senior citizen housing and really liked it.Everbody was HAPPY!.My dad had sold his home & moved into an appt & he was doing ok.Both my gradmother & my father put up money for my sons collage into drexel university, which my husband worked very hard as a coach for my sons lacroose team & my son got a total scholarship for 5 yrs.The money that my family gave us made it easier for his books and living expences.Then the worst happened, in 1991, I was expected to get an income ck.for 1800 dollars & I did not recieve it.I questioned my husband and he swore that he knew nothing about it.It took me 1 yr. fighting with the IRS saying that we did not reciece it.I stressed my self out soo bad over that ck.that I was obsesed over it.Well come to find out, when they finnally sent me the copy of the cancelled ck.It was deposited into our account, in which my husband did not put his paychecks into the bank for that month.When I confronted him with this after 1 yr later, , , he remember then and said he had forgotten and gave it to our son to put into the bank, but couldnot remember what happened to his paycks for that period of time.Well I was soo made that I threw him out of the house.I went to the doc and got some paxcil and took them to calm myself down.I couldnot even fuction I think I was in shock after 1 yr. of wondering.My gram came over to comfort me & calm me down.In the mean time my husband took the liberty and called my friend to come over, , cause he was concerend about my wellbeing, & he also called the police & asked if they could come over and addmit me in the hospital, , , cause I was over reacting and thought I was a danger to myself and my grandmother.Well there I was In a situation, which then was out of my control.When my friend came over, I got a strange feeling, number one she never called and she brought her brother and her sister inlaw with her.I let them in and explained that I was napping cause I took these pills which made me tired.Then before I knew it, , the police were at my door! I started to get soo perinoid, cause everything then seemed to be strange to me.I knew that my husband had stered up something cause I threw him out.Sure enough I was taken from my home to a hospital, , , , can you imagen that!!!! How could this be happening to me!!! My gradmother was soo upset and very angrey at my husband for doing this.Well they kept me for 4 days and told my husband that I was manic-depressant.And started to give me pills in there.My father slipped me a note during visiting hours, and advised me not to take them that they were mind controling pills.So when they lined you up for meds, I would slip it under my tongue & spit them out in the bathroom in my room.They said I was doing great on the medication, and I should be realiced in a day or two, & wanted me to go on lithium.Well my father had a fit, & had them realice me in 4 days aggenst there segestions.He even told them if I was not let go that he would take court actions agaist the hospital, & told my husband off!!! I was soo scared in there, I did not know what was going on , but was soo glad to get out!!!My husband from that day on had put a distrust in me & a fear that I never forgot.My father wanted me to leave him, , , , but I really loved my husband and went on with my life like nothing ever happened, , , & my husband apologised for the whole thing.Well that is were my nightmere started!!!! After that my husband would do strange things to me all the time, take money out of the checking account & I never knew were he was spending the money.It started making my household money sort, to the point were my bills were in default.He started lieing all the time, when I got mad at him, , , he would say that I had a mental problem & if I didnt behave that he would have me put away.He started to get me soo periniod to the point that I was convinced that he could do it again.He lost his job, over a sexual harrasement charge.He had to resign.He stolled a carton of cigs at his job, he worked in a grocery store he was a meat manager.And they fired him for that had him on tape.And he came home and sold them to me, just to get more money!.He even said that he did not know why he was fired!!!! I called his boss infront of him & found out why & he told me, , , from stealing, and that was not the first time!!!! I didnt know what to do?So I told him to leave forawhile my nerves could not take all the lies.Then in 2000 is when all the stuff hit the fan!!!! I noticed my checking account was not adding up, , , so again I stressed out.Called my son to help me look over the ck book, , , well he just thought that some money was gone but we just didnt make enough to pay all the bills & we were getting futher and futher in the hole.That was not the case, , , my husband went through all our papers and was sorting them out getting all his personal things.He transfered my name from my car to his name, , , without me knowing it.when I was stoped by a cop is when I found out that It was not in my name.I really got made over that & he said I was out of control & if I didnt calm down that he was going to do what he did before!!!Do you see what he was doing, , , he was controlling me over the fear, of what I went throgh in the past.In 2001 I was addmitted into the hospital again, , , , after finding my ckbook resister said I had 1800 in it and found out there was nothing in it at all!!!Then he said that he wanted a divorce cause I was Bipolr and I needed help!!!!So he left, , , I had 90, 000 dollars in a joint account with my name and my grams and my sons name on it, money that was a gift when my dad died and some my gram gave to me.And he knew about it.I was working and making about 30, 000 a yr at the time he left.I begged him to please come home cause I couldnot afford to pay 3, 000 a month for all our expences & by that time we were 3 months behind in all our bills.I started to get dizzy at work, from all he stress, he knew there was money in the bank that did not have his name on it and only gave me 600 a month which was half of our house payments.This went on for almost 1 yr.on and off in and out.I went threw 30, 000 of that money in the bank to stay in my own home got soo stressed out that my co worker called him and told him to please come back home cause I could not do my job and she was concered for my well being.He came back home, , , looking like the good guy, , , and within 2 days on oct 31 of 2001 halloween night, I found myself in a bedroom with a man that was out of control, screaming his head off saying thing like, , , tell me all your secreats, , , well my head started to heart soo bad and I asked him to please stop, , , but he kept on going, , , so I called my neighbor to please come over for I was scared for my life!!! Well when he knew I had used the phone he came at me from behide and grabed put his hands around my eyes and said that he was going to make sure that I would never see anthing again, , , then he put he hand over my month and said that I would never say anthing about him again, , and then started to twist my neck, , and told me to relax that it would be easier on me that way!!!!! Well then the door bell rang, , , AND IT WAS A COP, , , that my neighbor called, , , when I called her she called the police.Well I was in shock, , , , he answered the door and I came running down after screaming, , , ""get off me PLEASE GET OFF ME""thats all I could say, , , the cop kept saying no one is touching you, , , but I think my mind was thinkig of what just happened, , , and I was out of control...He made my husband put his hands under his legs at sat him on the sofa in our family room, , he kept saying ''I NEVER TOUCHED HER""he had teares in his eyes as he said that, , and then he stated that I have been acting this way now for days.Well when he said that I got scared again and started to head for the door.The cop said do not go out there, , , but I got scared and stated out the door and knocked on my nextdoor neighbors house, , which he ans the door & right there and then, , , I knew something was going to happen to me, , , , cause I did not tell the cop that my husband had tried to ring my neck, , , so I said to my neighbor that my husband had pictures of me please get them from him...I didnt know what to say, , I made it up..WHY????? WHY did I not tell the cop the truth? I think I was soo scared cause my husband said I was acting that way all weel, and right there I knew by me not saying what happened trying to cover up what he did, , , made me look like a nut!!!!And I was, , , , cause I knew what happened and was affraid.Well you should know what happened to me again!I called my gram, , , my only person that I trusted really.And the cop followed my husband down to the hospital.I was trying to act like nothing going through a normal emotion WHY? I dont know, stupid I guess.Well when I got there I got scared cause with the hospital and my state of mind, , , , , my husband telling them that this is the way I was for days no sleep, , talking out of my mind, , , friends at work came and said I was sressed and could not do my job.....Ened me in the mental ward again.I was only there for 1 day and my husband said I was dianosed with bipolar disorder.Well it ened up that my finnal dianoses was depression with panic attacks and anixity...I WONDER WHY....I am soo stupid for not telling the cop the truth, my husband got me out the next day, , , since they could not keep me cause I was not a danger to myself or anyone else, , , , but my grandmother I think wanted me in there to get some rest from my husbands constant abuse.Well when I got home, It all came back to me what had happened in the bed room..that I did not want my gradmother to leave, , , I beg her to stay infront of my husband, , , & I think he knew that I knew what he was trying to do to me! And he said to my gradmother see see I told you she is perionod, , , she is a nut and needs help, , and Im leaving and not comming baclk tell she gets the help she needs.Well my gram stayed for 2 weeks, , , while my husband stayed at his motheres house.After the pills and the museles relaxet stuff the gave me to calm me down at the ER had finnaly wore off....I noticed that I could not walk well and I was ting all over the place, I could not hold my bowels, , , and my neck and sholders were really hurting and I could hardley work...I WAS SCARED, , , , , I knew then he really hurt me, , , , AND I TOLD NOBODY, , , my doc said for me to take paxcil that all that was just my nerves, , and the depression making my neck and mucles hurt....Well after a long while, , , my husbands returns and leaves and returns and the last time he came home then he would pick a fight to leave, , , well this time I asked him about my medical records about my back hurting did he know were I left the envelope, , , he said maybe its in my truck!!! WELL we used to fight over his truck always being locked and he had his personal things in there and NOBODY could go into it without him knowing it.So he started to go to his truck and said come on maybe its out there, , , Well I said forget about it doesnot matter I can get another copy of them, , , but he insisted so I thought I would passify him so I went out to his truck, , , , well he dropped a 5 doolar bill so I leant over to pick it up and I made a smart remark about him throwing his money away, , , and I statred to pick it up WELL with that he grabed it out of my hand and picked me up I only weighted 105 lbs and 5 foot 2 he is 180 and is 6foot 3in.He picked me up and then just dropped me.....well I started to run towards the house and he ran after me and grabed my arm, , , which that is the arm and wrist that never healded right since I was a kid I broke it and thy set it wrong so it was cruipled in a way, , it would only move one way, , , , so he grabed my whrist and I thought he broke it I screamed and he headed up staries so I called the police..when he heard that he came back down and I started screaming get away from me....he got scared and went up and stared packing his bags, , , the cops told me to get out of there and I got in my car and drove off....I met the cop about 4 doors down from my house I was in my car, , , my husband was walking out the house when they caught him and arrested him.....the cop pressed the charges cause I had markes on me even though I did not want to, , , , so the cop did and I had to sign it and he told me to call my brother in law up to tell him what happened, (HE IS A STATE TROOPER FOR THE SAME COUNTY) MY LUCK RIGHT!!!! he was only there for a few houres and they released him, , I think if it would have been anybody else whos brother was not a cop they would have kept him in jail....when he got out he went to his mothers, , , and I went to see an atterney 3 days latter, , , and I had to go to court and the judge awarded me a protective order for 6 months....my laywer got him to pay for the morgage for the 6 months and then I filled for a divorce.....I had to pay him half of the house and he took all his bills.My doc kept telling me that my pain was comming from my stress and depreesion, , , , NOT I had found out I had 6 hernated disks in my back a pinched nerve in my neck and a small fracture in my checkbone, , , , I am in pain all the time...I got no allomany and now I am filing for ssd, , , I screwed myself up by not telling what happened to me, , , , , and thinking that everything would just be sweeped under the carpet, , , well now my son has not talked to me now in 4 yrs since the divorce, he to tells me that I have a mental problem, , due to what his father says, , , so now I am labled in my sons eyes, , But am glad that I am a survier from the domestic violece and the fear and the control that that man put me through.That is what a dianoses can do to a person in the wrong hands...they can surley take advantage of it and use it againgt you, , , if you dont stand up for yourself! (SORRY FOR THE SPELLING, IM REALLY A BAD SPELLER ) thanks for reading this, and has anybody else had a dianoses thrown back in there face and used to contol a person to the point of fear, , , , , please commet on it! THANKS (RED TOP )

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