'I married into a very dysfunctional family'

Joe (65.127.223.98) -

Hello,

I have married into a very dysfunctional family. Unlike my childhood there are levels of abuse and utter disrespect in this family that go beyond anything that I have delt with. My wife and her brother came from a very abusive and neglectful way of life. My wife's mother married her first husband and had a son, my wife's older brother. That father was abusive and the marriage ultimately failed. She marred again and had her second child, my wife, to a man that was also very abusive. That marriage had faied as well and she is on her third husband. In general through out the entire family, there has been abuse, neglect, and just utter disrepsct for each other. All of it's members at one time or another have backstabbed each other and just in general have bee very rude to ech other. Telling lies, arguing or not speaking to each other for years at a time is normal in her family. My wife herself is often very disrespectful and rude to me. She has never been taught any other way. We have a child together and we have one child from my wifes previous relationship (my stepdaughter. I don't want them to know this kind of behavior. I seriously want out, but I want these children to be raised well. I know that in the case of my step-daughter I would have little or no access to her, to be an influence in her life and try to help her break this cycle. I still would like to be an infuence in her life. I will definitely be a positive influence in my blood daughter's life. I want her to grow up knowing that not all families fuction the way that my wife's does. I know how to do that. My wife and I went to one marriage counseling session together, but she has told me that she does not want go anymore. i have tried to encorage her to go to therapy to try to deal with some of this, but again she is not at all receptive to it. I am making my way out, I just want to know if there is anything I can do for my stepdaughter. While there is no abuse in our nuclear family, my wifes bitterness and wantingness to control will take it's toll on her. I don't want that. One of the things that I have read about these families is the continuance of dysfuction stems from never knowing what a normal famlily functions like. I want to break this cycle for my daughter and stepdaughter.

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